I know I never really write anything insightful or with much deep thought...and I'm not going to start today. I had so much fun this weekend, I felt I needed to share. My friend Mandy and I went to Columbia this weekend to see her friends and family, and a friend that I went to college with, Amanda, met up with us since she lives close around that area. I hadn't seen Amanda in about 9 months, so it was great to get to see her too. We went to a bar there named Cody's. It's a country bar, but it was fun. I had never been to one, but it was a lot more packed than I expected. The only downfall for me was that there were a lot of country bumpkins there. I am just really not that attracted to guys with those little tight Wranglers and all that, no thanks. Anyway, not the point. Well, once we were there, it turned out that one of the guys with us was really good friends with the bartender, so we got the hook up all weekend on drinks. I did have to pay for one drink of Friday, but that's because it was tequila rather than the pussy shots I had been taking like buttery nipples. So, it was definitely great getting free drinks. Occasionally we would have guys offer to buy us drinks, but little did they know we didn't have to pay, so they really weren't paying anything anyway. There was a live band there, but I thought the singer sucked. He was very nasally and whiny sounding. It was a little annoying. It was definitely a nice change when they played rock between the sets. The best part was that once each night they were throwing beads to all the girls. I started by just dancing to get them....that didn't work with all the big hooters poppin' out right beside me, I just got looked past completely. So, Mandy and I tried showing our asses for some, I only got one for that. Then I went for the flashing...for some reason I got two. I have no clue why I thought I was brave enough to flash...I am definitely not proud of my assets there, so I don't know what I was thinking. Oh yeah, I was thinking about beads. Then I got more beads just because I guess, I did nothing else for them...at least on Friday. So, I continued to get drunk. I think that tequila shot did me in because right after I took that, everything was starting to spin. At one point during the night an older country hick was really hitting on me. He was kissing my hand and stuff like that. I just sat there giggling because I thought it was really funny. My friend Amanda pulled me away from him to save me, but he didn't get the clue. He came and tried to get me to dance with him, so Amanda told him I was with her. He said he needed proof before he would leave. So we did a little peck kiss, but that wasn't enough to convince him. So, we made out. I think she enjoyed it a little more because when I stopped, she kept trying to kiss me, then she was complimenting me on it. She is not the person I would like to be complimented by, but I guess since I don't really kiss anyone else, I'll take the compliments where I can get them. We ended up kissing two more times, mainly for shots because the bartender threatened to make us pay once he found out that we had kissed, but not for him. So, that was interesting. I was pretty drunk, loud, and giggly. I managed to only fall down once though. Mandy and I were dancing to the last song of the night and I did great being spun around and all, I was very proud of myself actually. But of course it didn't last. As soon as the song ended she took me for one last spin and fell straight over....it was embarrassing, but good thing I was drunk because I didn't really care at that point. So, we left and everybody went to Country Kitchen for breakfast. That's where I found a way to have fun with my beads. Amanda and I got a guy to flash us his package for some of our beads. Then we pigged out, and passed out. I was so hung over on Saturday, so I just vegged and watched movies all day. Then nighttime rolled around again, and I was ready for more partying. It was sort of a repeat of Friday night. We went to the same bar again, and drank for free again. I pretty much had my ass parked at the bar all night, by myself, I'm such a loser. I mainly just got up for the bead throwing again. I again starting flashing, but as soon as I would, the only thought that would run through my head is "What the hell am I thinking?" But like I have said before, I was drunk and didn't care. I even flashed guys up on the balcony for beads, but hey, I got beads. I found a guy again to flash me for some....the guy on Friday deserved it a lot more than the guy on Saturday, but I told him I'd give him beads if he did, so I did. That was pretty much my weekend. A little crazy, but a hell of a lot of fun! I'm sort of regretting the kissing, but it was a new experience. After giving away three sets of beads, I ended up with 12, so I did good. And I only spent $60 all weekend, with having 9 or 10 shots Friday and 12 on Saturday, and only paying for tips and cover charge, I did good. So, I'm going to finish today with another song. This one is dedicated to Mandy. The story behind it is that she just broke up with her boyfriend last week. They had been together for three years, and she came to the conclusion that her feelings just weren't there anymore. She still cared for him, but wasn't in love. We were talking about her situation this weekend while heading out on our trip, and a song came on that she felt totally said what she felt. So this is to her....it's I'm Movin' On by Rascal Flatts...it's country, go figure.
[u]I'm Movin' On[/u]
I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I’ve found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I’m at peace with myself I’ve been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long I’m movin’ on
I’ve lived in this place and I know all the faces Each one is different but they’re always the same They mean no harm but it’s time that I face it They’ll never allow me to change But I never dreamed home would end up where I don’t belong I’m movin’ on
I’m movin’ on At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me And I know there’s no guarentee’s, but I’m not alone There comes a time in everyone’s life When all you can see are the years passing by And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn’t Stopped to fill up on my way out of town I’ve loved like I should but lived like I shouldn’t I had to lose everything to find out Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road I’m movin’ on
My big question for the day......why do we want what we know we can't have? This has been a big issue for me for a long time, not just today. But today it seemed to hit home again. I don't know why I keep wanting the one thing I can't get, yet it never seems to phase me. I don't think I want the impossible just because I can't have it. I think I'd want it even if it was right there for me to take. But I do believe that the grass always looks greener on the other side, and that's why it's become so much of a fantasy for me. I just keep having this thought that if I had that one thing, my life would be so much happier and more complete. Maybe I'm looking at it wrong. Maybe it should be that there is a reason it's out of my reach, and I should learn that because I've waited around for it and it still hasn't become something that I can have, I should just move on and get on with my life without it. That's such a hard concept to grasp though. I know that I don't know what's best for me...considering all the mistakes I've made. But I just can't help but wonder. I always believed in the fact that everything happens for a reason, I just hate not knowing the reason. That's why it's hard for me to let go of any dreams I have because I keep thinking maybe I'm here in this position for a reason. Selfishly I want the reason to be for my benefit, but sadly I don't think it's going that way. But I don't think there's no reason at all. And I don't think the reason I am in my position is just to screw everyone else's lives up. But also, I happen to be coming to the conclusion that it is the only reason. I wish I could find available grass to graze rather than someone else's. Ok, I have just been babbling about confusing stuff. Sorry if I confused anyone else the way I have confused myself again today. Ok, I'm gonna put a song again. I heard this song for the first time this weekend, and it made me cry....I do not normally cry this easily, but also keep in mind it was that time of the month for me so I was really sensitive and emotional. Sorry, too much information there possibly. Ok, on with this song...it's called You'll Think of Me, by Keith Urban....yes, it's country. Anyway, this song sort of reminds me of me, that's why I cried, except I'm not with anybody.....anyway.....have a great day everybody!!!
[u]You'll Think of Me[/u]
I woke up early this morning around 4am With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms I've been tryin' my best to get along But that's OK There's nothing left to say, but
Take your records, take your freedom Take your memories I don't need'em Take your space and take your reasons But you'll think of me And take your cat and leave my sweater 'Cause we have nothing left to weather In fact I'll feel a whole lot better But you'll think of me, you'll think of me
I went out driving trying to clear my head I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this And all the baggage that seems to still exist It seems the only blessing I have left to my name Is not knowing what we could have been What we should have been So
Take your records, take your freedom Take your memories I don't need'em Take your space and take your reasons But you'll think of me And take your cat and leave my sweater 'Cause we have nothing left to weather In fact I'll feel a whole lot better But you'll think of me
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind Don't worry, I'll be fine I'm gonna be alright While you're sleeping with your pride Wishing I could hold you tight I'll be over you And on with my life
So take your records, take your freedom Take your memories I don't need'em And take your cat and leave my sweater 'Cause we have nothing left to weather In fact I'll feel a whole lot better But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom Take your memories I don't need'em Take your space and all your reasons But you'll think of me And take your cat and leave my sweater 'Cause we got nothing left to weather In fact I'll feel a whole lot better But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me Oh someday baby, someday
